I was listening to my friend’s podcast “Safe Space with Carleigh & Cacey” when I started thinking about this concept of being a beginner. They were talking about the necessary act of summiting cringe mountain to become good at something; the idea that anyone who is currently deemed “cool” had to go through a phase of being cringe. There is no way of getting around the fear of seeming cringe, awkward, goofy, or embarrassing. Their conversation was a helpful reminder not to take ourselves so seriously and to embrace the concept of not knowing and starting over.
I think social media has made us all hyperaware of others’ opinions- on us, on strangers, on celebrities, political figures, comedians. Reading everyone’s hot takes on every single topic is overwhelming and can discourage you from taking any risks for fear of being heavily judged.
I think one key ingredient of this is that we all take everything so seriously. I think about this often when I am hanging out with my 2-year-old. He doesn’t get embarrassed the way we adults do. He is not worried about what other people think (at least not yet!). His playfulness is an excellent reminder for me to let go. To take at least one minute during the day and do something silly. To take a break from the dishes so we can do the “chicken dance” to the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song in the living room (his current favorite activity).
I notice that so many of us get stuck in our routines, of daily habitual ways of being and ways of thinking. Worrying, planning for the future, ruminating on the past. This cycle can be stressful and we might not even be aware that we are perpetuating it!
Humans created the concept of work. There could be a parallel Earth where all humans just play, grow our food, raise our children, and make art. I think about this often when I contemplate our societal urge to race for a break from work. Everyone is waiting for Friday, waiting for the weekend, for a summer trip, just so we can take a rest from the monotonous grind. Rarely does one have the privilege to work less or change jobs. But everyone has the choice to be less serious!
Maybe it’s trying a new hobby, maybe it’s just taking a moment to dance in a silly way or listen to your favorite song on your commute. You’d be surprised at how a small action can have a larger impact on your day. I’m also trying this myself.
I hope it’s apparent that I am no expert in this. Most things I write about here are topics I am personally trying to grapple with and work through. I am noticing I have been way too serious lately; worrying about the future, finances, career choices, and day-to-day stressors. Ruminating on all these worries started to take up more and more of my mental space until it reached its limit. Because I’m so comfortable in this pattern, it took a while before I was forced to reassess. I can’t fix all these problems right away. But I can try to find little moments to be more playful and to think like a beginner. So, I am walking alongside you, trying to figure it all out and plant more silly moments into my day (tonight it was dancing with my toddler to Elmo’s Brush Your Teeth banger before I put him to bed).
Till next time!